Tuesday, May 24, 2016

You Carry Oats

  E   ukaryotes.

A eukaryote is any organism whose cells contain a nucleus and other organelles enclosed within membranes.

We are made of eukaryotes. Bacteria are eukaryotes. Therefore, we're bacteria.

It's easy to reach that conclusion, which isn't quite correct (I got a ciliae cut at the Shear Path-o-gen salon last week) but to tell the truth,  these past three weeks have made me see the world around me in a completely new way.

For example, I've come to the conclusion that bacteria are our friends. They're working their flagella off  to make us healthy. But they're not just sitting around in tiny kaffeeklatsches toasting each other with helminths and lime, they're out on the beat, watching out for rogue groups of thug-teria who want to make us sick.

We're walking war zones—it's always World War III for our Enterococcus, Prevotella and Firmicutes.

And disturbingly, some of them can change sides.

But what I discovered most was a sense of just how prevalent they are; now, when I'm standing in the kitchen, I don't just see a kitchen counter, I see a kitchen counter covered, with every square millimeter, with bacteria. Trillions of them.

But that thought doesn't scare me—it reassures me. Because most—I'd say 99.9%—mean us no harm at all; they're just going about their daily business.

And a lot are not just our best friends, they're our essential best friends—like I said, they're going to war everywhere on out behalf.

So when I look at a carrot that I'm about to scrub as clean as I can get it, I say, no. Let's just wash it off and let the little guys who were making it home—most of them our firm allies—just stay there and take the ride down my gullet to join their firm and cute pals.

And when I look around me these days, i don't just see scenery—trees and grass and furniture and food—I see a living carpet of out little friends, going to work on our behalf to keep us healthy, happy, and typing these words, because that's what they're making me do.

But enough about them (I just fired their propaganda minister with a swipe of Purell); here is what I just received in the E-mailome:

UBIOME
We just received your sample.
Hello,
Thank you so much for being part of uBiome. We have received your samples for kit id 573056491, and they are now safely awaiting processing in our lab.
In the meantime, you might like to have a look around our blog (ubiomeblog.com). Also, we’d love to have you join our fun and insightful microbiome discussions on TwitterFacebookLinkedInGoogle+, and follow us onInstagram and Pinterest too.
Once your sample is ready, we will tell you what's in there and how you compare to our other community members.
Thanks!
Jennifer and the uBiome Team
support@ubiome.com

Oh, what fun!

Meanwhile, on Day Three of Phase III—the Reset, I'm finding that I have more energy, and sleeping very well, but most of all, take a look at this:

Psoriasis on my right hand, Day One of Phase I, May 1st, 2016
Psoriasis on my right hand today, three weeks and two days later: May 24th, 2016
Now, I don't honestly know what's going on; whether it's my eliminating totally for a week and now reducing dairy, sugar, meat and wheat to a bare minimum, or whether it's walking to the hospital every day, but MY PSORIASIS IS IN REMISSION FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THREE YEARS.

There is the proof; you can't deny the photographs.

You carry oats, indeed!

Details and full report at 11.

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