Why is it so late in life that all this knowledge became available? Used to be, if I suddenly want to know how water was transported within a plant stem, I'd fucking have to wait until tomorrow to go to the library. Maybe, if there was a library around. Then I'd have to beg a librarian to look up some book, and then I'd have to fucking go through a whole fucking Van Der Waals "Princaepum of Plants, Vol. XII" and come to page 765 to find the relevant section.
Now all I do is Google it.
WHY wasn't there a Google when I was 8? ALL THIS KNOWLEDGE, and I'm fucking fifty fucking nine fucking years fucking old.
It'll now take me years of reading to find out how properly to take care of plants, whereas if the Internet had been around all my life I could have read up on it little by little.
All this knowledge, and my fifteen-year-old son spends his fucking time PLAYING WAR VIDEO GAMES.
I'd like to WRING HIS SCRAWNY LITTLE CHICKEN NECK.
I mean, I was genuinely fascinated by this stuff when I was 14. I swore I wanted to become a biologist. But I only had one book—the textbook that was given to me in my science class. And no possible way to get another, maybe on a subject that was more interesting to me—because it was TASOK in Kinshasa, Zaire/Democratic Republic of Congo.
DON'T GET ME STARTED.
Okay . . . I get how water molecules are made of two hydrogen atoms, and the electrons buzz around but mostly near the oxygen atom, so the side of the molecule near the hydrogen atoms has a negative charge, which attracts other water molecules like tiny magnets, which makes them able to defy gravity and travel upwards through a plant's xylem, which is made of cellulose, which is the wall of the xylem made from dead cells—making cellulose. So the water molecules fill the niches of the cellulose until they're saturated. Which means that in this way water can reach the top of redwoods.
So good so far.